Body Positivity, Where The Confidence Resides
Everyone knows the song by Megan Thee Stallion, “Body.” It’s a catchy song I’ve seen men and women of all sizes dance to this song (which you won’t see me doing because I can’t dance). It makes me wonder if they know the actual lyrics.
One line in particular says, “Body crazy, curvy, wavy, big titties, lil’ waist,” and I’m wondering if she’s celebrating one body type, or if it’s including every body type, curvy bodies, wavy bodies, bodies with big breasts and bodies with small waists. Needless to say, the way my body is shaped, I don’t have a flat stomach, nor do I have a big butt, but regardless, I love my body.
To me, body positivity is having confidence in your body whether you are a size 2 or 22. Loving every inch, every cellulite, every roll, every curve. EVERYTHING and not shaming others. Body positivity isn’t just about you, it’s about those around you also. It’s a ministry.
Recently I did a two-month training session with my personal trainer and I admit, there were some challenges in the beginning. I am not a fitness guru, nor do I try to be, but I definitely pushed myself to the limit. She sent me some challenging workouts that I didn’t think I could do, but after repeated sessions, I was able to complete them with no problem. Even when it was a struggle, I listened to my body and checked my emotions at the door. I did not get on a weight scale because I believe a number doesn’t determine my beauty nor my progress. What I see in the mirror and how I feel when I see it matters. There was a point where my before and after pictures looked the same because I fell off, but I didn’t allow it to stress me.
Body positivity is more than what you see, it’s about how you perceive yourself and your level of confidence.
I have to admit that being a Curvy Influencer who is also a Christian, I have to be careful of what I post. I love my curves and I want to influence others to love themselves and walk with confidence. Sometimes that involves showing my shape. In the past, I faced judgement from family and church members on my content.
I remember two years ago, I posted a picture of me from vacation in a bathing suit and a close friend of mine texted me that I shouldn’t be posting pictures like that with the direction I am taking in life. I had to second guess myself and wonder if it was because of my curves (not everyone is willing to accept curvy confidence), or if they genuinely cared about my digital reputation. After going back and forth, I responded, “you are right, thank you and I love you” and I deleted it.
About a year later, I posted a picture of me in a bathing suit but with a cover up. I had a “friend” comment 4 peach emojis. Then on her story, she went on a rant saying that some people need to be more modest and stop showing their bodies for social media. This person then went on a diet and showed pictures of her before and after pictures in a bathing suit and sports bra to show the results of her body.
It made me question at what point is it okay to show your curves and when is it not? Is it only acceptable to show when you are losing weight and you want people to see your weight loss? Or is it only tolerable when you are a certain size according to society’s beauty standards? In my opinion, it should be okay to show your body as long as you are doing it in good taste. Don’t post a picture of your body to make others think your body is superior. Post a picture of your body to show your confidence and encourage others to love themselves.
Body positivity stems from self-love. Self-love isn’t about treating yourself to a spa day or your favorite restaurant (because you could still be miserable with pretty nails and a full stomach), it’s about loving every part of your body and accepting the flaws unapologetically.
I think back to how I felt when my friend made that comment and even my mom when she says, “that’s not a good picture of you, you look big, take it down,” and how it makes me feel. Or when my sister would call me fat when we got in an argument and it used to bother me. Honestly, I’m at a point in my life where this is my response, “your relationship with your body does not affect the relationship I have with mine.” Just because someone sees a level of confidence within you that they don’t see within themselves, doesn’t mean you should stop. If you continue, they’ll either unfollow you (good riddance) or they become inspired by you. Either way, it’s a win.
My curvy confidence has power. I’m able to work with world renowned brands because of my shape. I will never allow body shaming to hurt my feelings anymore and neither should anyone else who has curves.
Let’s pause for a moment: let’s say we have two women, Michelle and Olivia, both weigh 200 pounds. Michelle has big boobs, a flat stomach and a big butt. Olivia weighs the same and has a stomach (or fupa) and has smaller breasts and no butt. Who do you think people will favor more on social media? Michelle right, because she has “bawdy awdy awdy.” But in actuality, fat is still fat, whether it’s in your stomach, in your butt or on your chest! Olivia is the person to celebrate because she has more confidence, her body is natural. Yup, Michelle had a BBL, but she still struggles with confidence. Olivia’s content inspires women to love their bodies. Olivia knows her body shape is the way it is because it’s part of her ministry and I’d rather follow Olivia than Michelle anyday!
If you’re reading this, your body deserves to be celebrated. If you’re reading this, your body deserves the finer things in life and that includes the quality of friends. Surround yourself with friends who celebrate you as much as you celebrate yourself, if not more.
I used to hate going shopping with my friends at Victoria’s Secret. I hated having to only shop for clothes or perfume because I had G cups in high school. I acted like it didn’t bother me, but my breast reduction led me to a breast reduction fresh out of high school. I don’t regret the decision because my breasts were causing me shoulder and back pain, but I regret not having the confidence I do now.
2 months before my breast reduction in 2010.
As an influencer, I noticed that brands are taking notice to curvy bodies and expanding their sizes. Some brands, such as Fashion To Figure, New York and Company and Pretti Girl Parlor specialize in high fashion plus size clothing. Brands like these makes me feel like my size matters.
To anyone lacking body positive confidence, know that it’s not an easy process.
Pay attention to your enviroment and adjust accordingly.
Start listening to music that celebrates your body.
Unfollow people whose content makes you feel less than and follow people who make you feel greater than. Some of my favorites are Garnerstyle, Nabela, and of course, DavidasDiary.
Start shopping at boutiques that have clothes that flatter your curves, that’s what they were designed to do!
Go out to eat and don’t feel bad for ordering whatever it is what you want. Just live yo life, ayyyyye ayyye ayyye!
In 2021, we’re headed where the confidence resides! Don’t compare your body to anyone else’s. Comparison is the thief of joy and I refuse to allow anyone’s body to steal my joy and that’s on Mary had a little lamb!